Journal of Boromir: Day 19

“…I’ve been forced to put a few hobbits between me and Aragorn when we’re walking now. With all his verbal pining for Arwen these days, the urge to just push him into a chasm is just too strong now. I don’t swing towards elves myself, but I have to wonder what on earth could she find so appealing about this disgusting ranger. If I were Elrond, I’d lock Arwen in her room until her 4000 birthday for having such low standards in men. Honestly, the guy doesn’t even have the courtesy to wash his hair. I wonder how long that grease would keep his hair burning if I pushed him into the fire right now…”