Journal of Boromir: Day 25

”…When is Legolas going to learn he can’t win. In an attempt to embarrass me he got a hold of my tunic the other day and altered its burgundy colour to a bright fuchsia. At first I was irritated, but the joke’s on him. Since that day I’ve gotten more invitations to flet parties from cute elf women in Lothlorien than he has. Doesn’t he know that women love men who can pull off this colour? Last night Aragorn became a victim of Legolas’ frustration when the elf mistook the ranger for me and mangled his facial hair with a razor while he slept. I had left earlier to get medical attention for my hand after it was bitten by Pippin in his sleep. He dreamed it to be some sort of second breakfast...”